Dear Drunken Santa's:

I am writing to tell you that this year I am looking forward to seeing you, again!!! My boyfriend Chris and I decorated the other night, and we cleaned out the chimney so your drunk asses will fit down the chimney! This year we will have plenty of munchies (yes and baked ziti) so you guys can have some 'drunk food' before you head back to the North Pole and all the other childern that you visit won't smell the alcohol on your breath. There are ONLY a few things I am going to ask for this year... And it is not even for myself, it is for my boyfriend and our friends...

1. Please let Chris and Roachy get to sit on your laps this year... for some reason every year they miss it and I know it would mean so much to them.

2. Please get Heather a pair of underwear that fits her, last year I heard there was a mishap and she has been walking around with a saggy thong ever since.

3. Rumor has it, that Lacey J will be here this year, please make sure she is WELL aware of where the ICE is.

4. Kim will also be attending and will have traveled far... Please, please make sure you bring her batteries..... No, not for what your thinking santa, .... she is now persuing her rapping career and she will need batteries for her microphone.

5. I noticed last year that Mrs. Murphy got a pair of Santa's boxers... what a lucky bitch!

6. Please bring Tim something to do... so he won't be playing with open flame and tissues...

7. Rumor has it that this will be Jason Wertheimer's first Extravaganza.. as his first party... Please Santa bring something Kosher for my Jewish friend.

8. I know that Dan and Kelly will be attending AFTER they get out of work, so if you guys could belly up and bring us an extra 30 pack, that would be great too.


And last but not least, please don't be cheap this year... HOOK US UP!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY <3 !!!

I hope you have a great day!!!

Shout Out!

This is a shout out going out to Kenny!

I am doing this because today his head hurts!

kennysnipes: i have a headache

Why you ask???
Because he drank 1 and a half bottles of wine last night!

Kenny also thought he would be creative and take some pictures of me...

PS: Those are not my legs... there Wattys!

Smells Like Football

Thats right kids.... check your shoes at the door and lets get ready for some football!!! Superpool '06 is about to take place in a week...

1 day away!

Ok kids its the moment that you have waited all year long for... hte holiday extravaganza. Unfortunaly this post will not be as funny as J-Birds Press Release... Oh and for those of you who haven't read it.. Please, allow me:

Press Release



November 30, 2005

Fathers lock up your daughters, the Birdman returns to the Salt City. Friday, Dec. 9th the Jason Solowski tour will be returning to the area for his annual holiday performance. Also headlining the tour will be Tim "The Heart Break Kid" Ruffinen and Jeremy "Squirrel" Ryan. This will be the fourth time the power trio will be returning to the area to show off their skills. "It ain't a holiday party unless it's in the 'Cuse" says Solowski "I swear to god, I'll be dropping some straight up gangsta sh*t all weekend long!" Friday night you can catch the famous swordsman at P.J. Dorsey's in Downtown Syracuse. Saturday, the festivities will kick off at Watty's Holiday Extravaganza in Liverpool. Boyfriends will be checked at the door. All ladies get in for free.*



OK so on that note...while this is all going on, every girl is debating on what they will wear! Trust me fellas, this has been a major decision! I am glad to hear that everyone is excited, it is going to be out-of-control, as always! And who knows, perhaps we will get a visit from the gay santas this year... OOPS! I meant the drunken santas.

Can't wait!

There is something so wrong with us!

Dear Santa:

All in all I think that I have been a pretty good girl this year.
I mean, I didn't mean to drop that fan on Roach's head.
And now that I am thinking of it ...there are a few more thing that I didn't mean to do...
I didn't mean to blow up my boyfriends ice pack in the microwave
and I never meant forge that letter from planned parenthood to my parents about my sister being pregnant because I didn't like her boyfriend... (ok I made that one up)....

What I am trying to say is that I know that you are busy this time of year.... But PLEASE can you show up on December 10th to the Watson Holiday Extravaganza???

Sincerely-
Michelle

PS: I hope that all of u can come too.... LET ME KNOW ASAP! There really wasn't any other date that we had to work with... Check ur calendars and let me know so we can start planning!